T Harv Eker: How To Calm Your Mind & Get Centered So You Can Make Better Decisions…
- Brett @ MindsetGiants
- Jun 20, 2020
- 4 min read
How To Calm Your Mind & Get Centered So You Can Make Better Decisions… And Get Better Results! By T Harv Eker
Do you have a trigger situation that gets you irritated, upset, or otherwise negative? For me personally, it’s when my back hurts. That pain makes me irritable, and I end up being shorter and less understanding with other people. I know this about myself. I also know that whenever possible, I should avoid making decisions when I’m in that headspace. Why? Because I’m not centered. And when I’m off-balance, I don’t make the best decisions. What about you? Has there ever been a time when you made a decision while you were in pain, or feeling upset, sad, ashamed, or otherwise off balance? How’d it turn out? My hunch is this: crappy. The great news is that there are simple steps you can take to calm your mind and get centered fairly quickly, which will ensure you make better decisions and therefore, get better results in your life. Want to learn more? Read on to learn where bad decisions come from, how we can get balanced and make good decisions instead, and a powerful exercise that works in any decision-making situation to make things more clear while reducing stress.
Why We Make Bad Decisions When We’re Out Of Balance When we’re unbalanced, it means that our mind has taken over, and it’s in total fear mode. Usually, it’s so loud that we can’t even begin to hear our instincts. So instead of checking in with our gut — that part of us that knows what’s best — we react rather than act.
What does this look like?
Saying yes to volunteering for a cause that doesn’t resonate. (A reaction based on fear regarding how we’re perceived by others.)
Signing on to a business deal that doesn’t feel right. (A reaction based on scarcity fears around relationships and/or finances.)
Turning down a fantastic work opportunity. (A reaction based on fear of worthiness or ability.)
Just imagining myself in any of those situations gives me an uneasy feeling inside. What about you? So, how do we stop ourselves from making bad decisions based on fear? We need to make sure we truly know ourselves!
Pay Attention To Yourself & Give Yourself Space This is absolutely critical, friends: Every time a decision comes up, take a second and check in with yourself. For this to work, it’s important to understand yourself well enough to know when you’re feeling off-center. What does it feel like for you? Does your brain feel like it’s buzzing? Do you want to run or yell or cry? Do you feel tightness in your throat, chest, or stomach? Do you have trouble getting yourself grounded? The better you know yourself, the faster and easier it’ll be to know if you’re in the right headspace for decision-making.
If you’re feeling off in any way, don’t make the decision, especially a big one. Instead, remind yourself why you can’t make a decision in this state. The most powerful way to do this is to think of a similar situation from the past that didn’t work out so well. Remember exactly how you felt in that situation, both physically and emotionally. What do you do instead? You take a break. Unless there’s a legal deadline or it’s a true life-or-death situation, it’s okay to ask for time to make your decision. Sometimes we feel pressure to answer right away. Maybe someone else is really pressing on us to make a decision. Maybe we don’t want to inconvenience or frustrate others. Neither matters. The only thing that does? Making the right choice. Get Back To Center Sometimes we’re thrown for a loop by an unexpected question or opportunity. Sometimes we’re in the middle of a major crisis. No matter what we’re going through, there’s always a way to get to that grounded state.
First, a little neuroscience:
When your emotions get ramped up, your breath becomes fast and shallow, which can trigger a fight-or-flight response (a.k.a. fear), which can lead to bad decisions.
The good news is that scientists have proven that repeated slow, deep breaths change your brain chemistry and make you calmer.
It takes you out of fight-or-flight. So that’s the first thing you can do — slow, deep breaths.
This doesn’t mean you’ll magically be calmer for hours and hours and all your stressors will go away. But they don’t have to.
Just finding moments of centeredness here and there can be all you need to make the right decision.
Now deep breaths do work great, but I want to share an easy, helpful exercise to amplify their effects. It involves using a mantra:
Think of a word or short phrase. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it represents the state you want to be in, like peace, calm, clarity, grounded, centered, etc.
Close your eyes.
On the slow inhale, pay attention to your breath. Picture it slowly filling your lungs.
On the slow exhale, think of your word or phrase.
Repeat as many times as feels good for you.
This exercise may help you go into a meditative state, or it may not. Don’t worry about it. The point — and the ultimate effect — is just to focus your energy and slow down your breath. Once you do this, you’ll quiet your mind, which means you’ll be able to hear your intuition again. And this is the place you need to be in to make your best choices. Decisions Don’t Need To Be Stressful
Making major decisions can be nerve-wracking. For some people, making minor decisions can be, too. Plus we’ve all got plenty of other stuff going on that can mess with our emotions. But when we can return to that place of calmness, even for a fleeting moment, the right choice becomes clearer and the whole process becomes less painful. You’ll be confident you made the best decision you could, and I’m willing to bet the end result will work out way better, too. I’d love to know if what I’ve shared here was helpful. If you find yourself in a situation that fits, please share the experience in the comments below. What did your fear-based mind tell you to do? And what did you decide on once you centered yourself? How did it work out? I look forward to your answers! Being centered and in a positive state of mind definitely helps with effective decision-making, but having the right mindset can drastically improve every aspect of your life.
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